brrrr its cold.

The past few weeks have been filled with great fun. Tim came to visit TWO times :) we carved pumpkins, watched movies, stayed up late... woke up early, drank coffee and drove around... The times we share are so great- so great.

We've talked... talked and talked about the future... Nashville-- seems like where we will be spending our lives, at least a major part of it... I wish to open a coffee-shop ("nashville is a coffee-shop" quote from my dear friend heather)... Working at Starbucks for the mere week and a half has showed me the wonder of connecting with people-- talking, smiling, making them wonderful coffee/tea drinks... Its just grand... its a steady, fast-paced job... but still laid-back and quiet. Its fun. I enjoy it...

I can't wait to start this new stage of my life, but for now I know that I am loved-- I can't wait to be together forever.

I'm working at Starbucks... going through my "Barista 100" training.. I really hope to be finished tomorrow!! Then I will be a Starbucks Certified Barista!! I'm getting really awesome hours too...

--The job is so chill and laid back... I really would like to own a coffee shop someday...

reality strikes.

I wonder why there are times when everything seems to come crashing down...

Two deaths this week... one, my great grandfather- I'm fine, oh yes, I'm okay... I hurt for my family though... They ache, their hearts ache... Its such a strange grief, death is.

Get a call this morning, my aunt's absolute best friend (should have been sister) found dead... the morning of my great grandfather's funeral... They say a heart-attack, at 40... She was an addict, recovering? I'm not too sure... Times like this are just sad.

Depression has shown is evil face again, I've hurt so much this week for the ones that I love... SO MUCH. Sacrifices have been made, this seems like the longest week of my life... Its horrible. I'm searching for strength, peace and more love. 

I'm worn

I'm torn

I know I'm not lost.