last time I checked

John Lennon was dead...

Merry Christmas to All.

"Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. 12And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." 13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,
14"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!"

luke 2:10-14

I've finished my shopping... got an awesome bag for my mom :) a fishing pole for my dad! and some cool slippers with memory foam for him too... and a purse for my sister...

I'm working on something for my boyfriend... Hmm... :)

This has been a tough time, being apart from each other. I wish it was easier... the whole distance part of a relationship. Its tough, no lie. But when we're finally together, every problem, every fret, every scare, any doubt that I've had about us is dissolved with the first sight of each other.

I'm really excited about next Wednesday. That's my Christmas.
Flying into Dulles around 10 am... seeing Tim for the first time in 40 days! I'm very excited.
I can't wait to see you!!! :)

i may regret and delete this later... (no, I'm not drunk)

having a journal leads me to ask, if I should post all my heartache and heartfelt emotions for all the world to see.
I'm writing this in haste... not cooling off at all... I'm hurt, confused, mad, upset, and no, I wasn't just broken up with.
Sometimes, I do feel unwanted. I know for sure I am wanted, its other factors of the human brain-- those psychological factors, that we can't explain.
Its no one's fault.

I feel like a burden sometimes... I'm just being 'appeased' because that's what your supposed to do, listen to your significant other-- no matter what you're feeling. I wasn't forcing conversation. I gave the opportunity to leave... Why do I still feel hurt?



I started up my iTunes and this song was the first to play... I've never heard it before...

Carry me, Your love is wider than my need could ever be
Come to me, and I will walk along Your shore
Feel Your crashing waves sing in time with the music of my heart
Come down, pour out on me
Come down, pour out on me
River deep, could I know You as well as You know me
Constantine, will we travel faster, farther than these
Legs could ever trustworthy be

seven days until christmas.

ahhhhhhh

I passed all my classes.

Psalm 78:1

1 O my people, hear my teaching;
listen to the words of my mouth.

2 I will open my mouth in parables,
I will utter hidden things, things from of old-

3 what we have heard and known,
what our fathers have told us.

4 We will not hide them from their children;
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,
his power, and the wonders he has done.

5 He decreed statutes for Jacob
and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our forefathers
to teach their children,

6 so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their children.

7 Then they would put their trust in God
and would not forget his deeds
but would keep his commands.

8 They would not be like their forefathers—
a stubborn and rebellious generation,
whose hearts were not loyal to God,
whose spirits were not faithful to him.

9 The men of Ephraim, though armed with bows,
turned back on the day of battle;

10 they did not keep God's covenant
and refused to live by his law.

11 They forgot what he had done,
the wonders he had shown them.

12 He did miracles in the sight of their fathers
in the land of Egypt, in the region of Zoan.

13 He divided the sea and led them through;
he made the water stand firm like a wall.

14 He guided them with the cloud by day
and with light from the fire all night.

15 He split the rocks in the desert
and gave them water as abundant as the seas;

16 he brought streams out of a rocky crag
and made water flow down like rivers.

17 But they continued to sin against him,
rebelling in the desert against the Most High.

18 They willfully put God to the test
by demanding the food they craved.

19 They spoke against God, saying,
"Can God spread a table in the desert?

20 When he struck the rock, water gushed out,
and streams flowed abundantly.
But can he also give us food?
Can he supply meat for his people?"

21 When the LORD heard them, he was very angry;
his fire broke out against Jacob,
and his wrath rose against Israel,

22 for they did not believe in God
or trust in his deliverance.

23 Yet he gave a command to the skies above
and opened the doors of the heavens;

24 he rained down manna for the people to eat,
he gave them the grain of heaven.

25 Men ate the bread of angels;
he sent them all the food they could eat.

26 He let loose the east wind from the heavens
and led forth the south wind by his power.

27 He rained meat down on them like dust,
flying birds like sand on the seashore.

28 He made them come down inside their camp,
all around their tents.

29 They ate till they had more than enough,
for he had given them what they craved.

30 But before they turned from the food they craved,
even while it was still in their mouths,

31 God's anger rose against them;
he put to death the sturdiest among them,
cutting down the young men of Israel.

32 In spite of all this, they kept on sinning;
in spite of his wonders, they did not believe.

33 So he ended their days in futility
and their years in terror.

34 Whenever God slew them, they would seek him;
they eagerly turned to him again.

35 They remembered that God was their Rock,
that God Most High was their Redeemer.

36 But then they would flatter him with their mouths,
lying to him with their tongues;

37 their hearts were not loyal to him,
they were not faithful to his covenant.

38 Yet he was merciful;
he forgave their iniquities
and did not destroy them.
Time after time he restrained his anger
and did not stir up his full wrath.

39 He remembered that they were but flesh,
a passing breeze that does not return.

40 How often they rebelled against him in the desert
and grieved him in the wasteland!

41 Again and again they put God to the test;
they vexed the Holy One of Israel.

42 They did not remember his power—
the day he redeemed them from the oppressor,

43 the day he displayed his miraculous signs in Egypt,
his wonders in the region of Zoan.

44 He turned their rivers to blood;
they could not drink from their streams.

45 He sent swarms of flies that devoured them,
and frogs that devastated them.

46 He gave their crops to the grasshopper,
their produce to the locust.

47 He destroyed their vines with hail
and their sycamore-figs with sleet.

48 He gave over their cattle to the hail,
their livestock to bolts of lightning.

49 He unleashed against them his hot anger,
his wrath, indignation and hostility—
a band of destroying angels.

50 He prepared a path for his anger;
he did not spare them from death
but gave them over to the plague.

51 He struck down all the firstborn of Egypt,
the firstfruits of manhood in the tents of Ham.

52 But he brought his people out like a flock;
he led them like sheep through the desert.

53 He guided them safely, so they were unafraid;
but the sea engulfed their enemies.

54 Thus he brought them to the border of his holy land,
to the hill country his right hand had taken.

55 He drove out nations before them
and allotted their lands to them as an inheritance;
he settled the tribes of Israel in their homes.

56 But they put God to the test
and rebelled against the Most High;
they did not keep his statutes.

57 Like their fathers they were disloyal and faithless,
as unreliable as a faulty bow.

58 They angered him with their high places;
they aroused his jealousy with their idols.

59 When God heard them, he was very angry;
he rejected Israel completely.

60 He abandoned the tabernacle of Shiloh,
the tent he had set up among men.

61 He sent the ark of his might into captivity,
his splendor into the hands of the enemy.

62 He gave his people over to the sword;
he was very angry with his inheritance.

63 Fire consumed their young men,
and their maidens had no wedding songs;

64 their priests were put to the sword,
and their widows could not weep.

65 Then the Lord awoke as from sleep,
as a man wakes from the stupor of wine.

66 He beat back his enemies;
he put them to everlasting shame.

67 Then he rejected the tents of Joseph,
he did not choose the tribe of Ephraim;

68 but he chose the tribe of Judah,
Mount Zion, which he loved.

69 He built his sanctuary like the heights,
like the earth that he established forever.

70 He chose David his servant
and took him from the sheep pens;

71 from tending the sheep he brought him
to be the shepherd of his people Jacob,
of Israel his inheritance.

72 And David shepherded them with integrity of heart;
with skillful hands he led them.

after a while of just doubt and being apathetic towards reading my Bible, being "too busy", just having a lazy attitude towards my relationship in Christianity... this lull brought me to Psalm 78... (and Joshua 24)... The Isrealites were pushed to remind/share with others what God had brought them through, how he was faithful, keeping his people and providing. When they were down, forgetting what had happened, had given up hope, they were reminded of all that God had done for them; Testimony of the faithfulness of God, kept the fire of hope in their hearts- burning so that they would not lose hope.

I'm working on coming up with testimonies of things that happened to me in the past few years. God's providence & my faith are the only things that can get me through this.

a note to the parents.

Your children are: loud, inconsiderate, raunchy and annoying. Lock them up, until they learn how to act in public.

thank you.
concerned starbucks barista.

there's a babbling creek in my yard, I'm so tired today, don't really know why.
I've misplaced my Bible, and there's a mouse in my house!

science is really freaking me out, some think they have found the science behind the plagues of exodus & the destroying of sodom and gamorah. sorry, there's no science to my God. He defies all theorems and hypothesis. He is not constrained by the mind of man.

the rain caused the most beautiful rainbow today. amazing how something so gross and nasty can produce something so pure and beautiful.
I could see the beginning and end, all seven colors, just as quickly as it came, it was gone.

I can now breathe. Its over, the semester is finished. I do have one more final, however I'm not so worried about it.
Wishing a 'Happy Holiday' is really bothering me... Merry Christmas... seriously? Offensive.

seems like everyone I know has stopped the bloggings.

finals week... my brain is melted

DC in 22 days... :) two weeks with Tim...

Christmas is close- gotta buy those presents... man, this year has flown.